


I, Snoke

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Gen, POV First Person, POV Male Character, Snoke POV, diaries and journals, kotor allusions ftw, sanity slippage, snoke and yoda friendship mentioned, snoke backstory, snoke gets a bit theatrical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 09:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10357344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: A former Jedi makes an important decision -- and pays for it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Diaries and Journals
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

We have defeated Venkar.  
  
The fact that we have done so is extraordinary, and shows how mighty we really are. He thought that he and his army could vow such a beautiful and proud planet, but he was wrong. We are free from him. After all this time, we are free.  
  
But I know full well that what we are doing is far from over. Milara still has too many problems ravaging it. Abuse. Famine. Cruelty. And the Republic...  
  
By the gods, how I despise the Republic. They promised to protect the planets that they had jurisdiction over, the soldiers swear oaths to protect and serve. And yet they have done nothing for Milara! When blasterfire rang out through the night, where was the Republic? When countless soldiers fell down in the muck, where was the Republic? They were already slow with places such as Naboo, and that started over taxations on trade routes and treaties, of all things! Milara, meanwhile...it meant nothing to them. Garbage. No, garbage occasionally finds some sort of value among those who look for it.  
  
Milara was treated as less than garbage.  
  
I must stay on Milara. They may call me a coward for not assisting in their little powerstruggle with the Separatists, but what has the Republic ever done for us? And Milara needs me.  
  
Milara needs a hero. I shall be that hero to them.  
  
\-----  
  
The more I explore, the more I discover. There are more glories of the Force than the Jedi could ever hope to discover. Some which they kept from me for far too long. _This_ is what they kept from me? Were they afraid of what I would do with it? That I would fight back against their brainwashing?  
  
By the lost galaxies, I was foolish. I thought, perhaps, if I followed the Code enough, it would rid me of the rottenness at my core. But this is not rottenness. This...this is strength. When Freyus of Milara became the first Snoke, he didn't get there by trying to extinguish emotion, but by turning it into strength.  
  
I am what the orphanage and the Order and _ren_ have made me. I am just, I am right, I am justified. This is wrong, a part of me says, but I know it is conditioning from the Jedi, nothing more.  
  
Milara needs me.  
  
\-----  
  
My face has changed. My eyes have not, but my skin has. I was always pale. Now I have become paler. But I dismiss it. All things fade eventually, and something as fundamentally insignificant as appearance is just one of many more trivial sacrifices.  
  
How remarkable the Dark Side truly is! I could take what I have learned and blend it together. The key is not to eliminate the Force, or eliminate either side, but to integrate them. Light cannot coexist without Dark, and Dark cannot coexist without Light. I will take that knowledge, and I will put it to good use.  
  
It is _perfect._  
  
  
\------  
  
My students, my people...they have been learning beautifully. More quickly. They have been learning so much. And they have won their share of victories against those who have threatened Milara.  
  
My planet is becoming safer. Thank the stars. And thank the gods themselves. I am doing what the Jedi and the Republic never could. The idea of a Milara without war is too wonderful to be reality, some would say.  
  
I will _make_ it reality.  
  
\------  
  
Yoda has betrayed me.  
  
He followed me to Milara, attempted to take me into custody. We fought -- after all, I know what happened to Ulic Qel-Droma and Darth Revan. The Jedi disguise sadism as kindness too well. I would not meet the same fate, either stripped of the Force or brainwashed and indoctrinated.  
  
We fought, I fell into the river. It is through the Force itself that I did not drown.  
  
Yoda, my brother, my _kin --_ how dare you? How dare you believe that you can try and disrupt my vision? How dare you be foolish and delusional enough to think I am a monster, such an evil being, for wanting to keep my planet safe?  
  
But then again, the Jedi have always scoffed at the suffering of others. This is no exception.  
  
I am scarred. But the scars matter less than the stories behind them. The more you care for, love someone, hold them dear to your heart, the deeper they can cut.  
  
I must embrace my title, the title I should have taken long ago. Darth Malak once said that no one would remember who he once was, but they would remember Malak. I must take a cue from him.  
  
There is no one alive who will remember Aldric of Milara, the orphan boy hiding from Venkar's soldiers.  
  
But they will remember Snoke. Snoke, after the man who liberated us long ago.  
  
They will remember him.  
  
I am sure of it. 


End file.
